Kendra Wilkinson Cries About Fake Single Parenthood

Kendra Wilkinson is a single mother.
If being a single mother means living apart from your husband for a few months while he rakes in six figures, that is.
In the latest issue of Life & Style, the tabloid cover mainstay plays up the rumored trouble in her marriage to Hank Baskett by crying about how difficult it is to live in Los Angeles while he plays football for the Minnesota Vikings.

"Not having Hank around hurts," Kendra tells the magazine. "Moving across the country by myself makes me think of my own mom who raised me and my brother alone. Hank's not going to be [away] forever, but with him not physically here, I'm a single parent now."

It's a good thing for Kendra this interview didn't take place during the Vikings' bye week, huh? She wouldn't be able to make that statement otherwise.

In closing, Wilkinson says she'll do anything for her family, even make up scenarios in order to garner sympathy from ignorant Life & Style readers. To wit, she lies:

"I'm going to go back to the minus-2-degree weather to spend Thanksgiving, baby Hank's 1st birthday and Christmas in a small one bedroom hotel room with my husband and son. That's all that matters to me."

A couple points of interest: the average low temperature in Minnesota in November is 25 degrees, not negative two. Also, the minimum salary in the NFL this season is $325,000. It's unclear why the couple would be staying in a one bedroom hotel room.

Dancing With the Stars: A Bristol Palin Conspiracy

Bristol Palin is now in the final five on Dancing With the Stars.
Who will she outlast next? Rick Fox's elimination last night, and Audrina Patridge shockingly getting the heave-ho the week before prove that no one is safe.
The question is how it's even possible. Sure, she's better than David Hasselhoff or The Situation. But Rick and Audrina had the moves and the flair, and Bristol doesn't even want to be there. Her words and body language have said as much.

STILL STANDING: Week after week, Bristol Palin beats superior Dancing With the Stars competition. How long can it go on? Could she actually win this thing?!

It's still a stretch to think that she could best Brandy and Jennifer Grey to actually win DWTS, but another week or two? Doesn't seem impossible right now.
Her talent is average at best, her effort mediocre, and fan support ostensibly lacking. What gives? There has to be some sort of diabolical plot at work here.
A couple of Bristol Palin conspiracy theories:

• Sarah Palin has the entire Tea Party movement and everyone on her PAC email list dialing and robo-texting like madmen after every episode.
• ABC rigs the results so she stays and we give the show free publicity with ridiculous articles like this one. Game, set, match, network execs!
• Their Russian neighbors are voting around the clock.
• Voters fear an attack by a swarm of Mama Grizzlies.
• Christine O'Donnell cast a spell on DWTS phone lines.
• The Teen Mom demographic is bigger than realized.

Hiccup Girl's Hiccups Return in Court Hearing

Jennifer Mee, a.k.a. Hiccup Girl, had uncontrollable hiccups awhile back, thus earning her that great nickname. Then she likely killed someone. Now they're back.
Karma and/or unexplained gastrointestinal spasms are a bitch.
An emotional court hearing on Tuesday triggered a return of Jennifer Mee's infamous hiccups. Facing a first-degree murder charge, Mee began sobbing, then involuntarily hiccupping, during the testimony of her alleged victim's cousin.

HELP MEE: Jennifer wishes you would, legally or with the damn hiccups.

According to police, Jennifer Mee and two other men allegedly lured Shannon Griffin from his house, robbed him of the $60 in his wallet, then shot him.
Tuesday, Griffin's cousin, Doug Bolden, testified about the alleged encounter between them. He said his cousin, who moved from Mississippi, was "smiling" as he talked of going to meet Mee, whom he had reportedly met online.
"The thought that he was lured into a predatorial situation is tragic."
Mee's mother, Rachel Robidoux, also testified on Tuesday, telling the court that her daughter had a learning disability, had the mental capacity of a 12-year-old and was illiterate. Mee and her alleged conspirators have been held without bail.
On Tuesday, her lawyer, John Travena, asked the judge to reduce her bond and release Mee into her parents' custody. A decision is expected on Friday, barring any legal hiccups. Sorry, that was so wrong. But maybe a little funny?

Oksana Grigorieva Throws Mel-Less Birthday Bash for Daughter

Sorry, little Lucia. We missed your first birthday over the weekend. But we weren't the only ones.
Oksana Grigorieva threw a party for her daughter on Saturday afternoon, inviting 20 friends and family members. Mel Gibson's invite must have been lost in the mail, however.
The actor - who was deposed today, with Oksana sitting alongside her lawyer and across from her baby's daddy during the three-hour Q&A - was absent from the festivities, which took place at Oksana's home in Sherman Oaks.

As her parents continue their ugly, public custody battle, Lucia resides with Grigorieva, but often sees Gibson. Their overnight visits take place approximately once a week.

If Mel wants to get his his child a present, we hear her mother is looking for something green.

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller: It's Finally Over!

It's finally over for Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen.
The couple filed for divorce from one another this afternoon, as TMZ has obtained the divorce documents - which are the same documents signed by the pair in May. Among other issues settled in the papers:

• Mueller and Sheen receive joint legal custody of their twin sons. Brooke gets primary physical custody, while Charlie gets visitation rights.
• Brooke will receive $55,000/month in child support, and the document ensures that she'll never receive less money than Charlie doles out to Denise Richards to support her and their daughters.

• Mueller will receive a lump sum of $757,689.70.
• Sheen gets the family home, but must pay Brooke around $1 million for it.
• Sheen will keep his $5.45 million watch collection. Yes, Charlie Sheen has a $5.45 million watch collection.

This official split comes a week after Sheen was discovered passed out in a NYC hotel room, supposedly high on cocaine and definitely in the presence of Capri Anderson, a porn star/call girl.
Relive the couple's pictorial history below. From a dream wedding to a twisted marriage...